Some Blog

So this blog thing isn't working out that well for me.

You go along for 50 years figuring you're as self-absorbed as the next person, maybe more so, and then you commit to being self-absorbed -- in public (sort of) -- and where does it all go? Nowhere, that's where. The wimp's way is to pick on people who actually WRITE regularly, to nag at them for not borrowing from poets other than Yeats, as if I would know it if they did.

I have little to share in the way of insight from my Year of Being 50, which ended less than a week ago. I seem to recall enjoying myself quite a lot, and having had some good times with Krang and Xingu. Coming up on nine years of marriage, Krang and I are in a good place -- probably better than at any other time we've had together, and undoubtedly better than the best moments of my starter marriage. Being able to see that, having learned to appreciate Krang for his steadiness, loving him all the more for the quirks that drive me crazy....maybe that's part of what 50 brought me.

Xingu has passed the worst of being seven; I confess to being terribly in love with him just now. He sat with me through the entire broadcast of La Fanciulla del West from the Met. What's more, he seemed to have enjoyed it. I have never taken this child for granted, and what delight it is to see him growing into an interesting and good human being.

My work was tough last year, but I came out of the turmoil with some clarity....and a new business card that features that very word. Eighteen years of being one's own boss are hard to end...so I didn't. For now, at least, there are still gigs for a graying, plumping, impolitic and occasionally overcaffeinated crank.

I grew more comfortable with wrinkles, "melting" facial structure, and the noise of my knees. Plastic surgery ideation, yes; but think of the trips you could take with that moolah! I went to a place that does bra fittings and now own six bras in the same style (three colors, no prints), and the girls are perkier. I still have gray put into my hair.

But insight? I'll get back to you on that.