Mother's Day appliance

My mom didn't believe in Mother's Day. Her children always observed it in some way, but she claimed she didn't care if we did or not because it was an entirely bogus holiday. She used the word "bogus" often, in a big voice with well-supported tone, before it became as popular as it is today. Another of her favorites along these lines was a contemptuous, "It is to laugh."

I understand her feelings, now that I'm a mother. The first Mother's Day I qualified to be feted, seven years ago, I worked it for all I was worth. It had been a rough few months after all, I was trying to nurse a tiny infant who would rather sleep, I was up in the wee hours mooing at a breast pump -- is there any less dignfied thing to do to oneself? -- and so on Mother's Day 2003 I stayed in bed and enjoyed the novelty of it. Me, 43 years old, a mother.

After that, though, it's been downhill all the way. I felt and feel much as my own mother did about this guilt-inducing, ludicrous excuse to go to Target and support the local florist. I have instructed Krang and Xingu to leave off, already. I want to be treated like a queen every damn day of the year, and I don't need any bogus displays of affection or appreciation on that particular Sunday.

What I need is a panini press. A Cuisinart GR-4, to be exact, with interchangeable non-stick plates and an integrated drip cup. I had a vast array of delicious sandwiches in Venetian bars earlier this year (when I wasn't eating squid), many washed down with a sparkling prosecco, and I want to recreate un po' of that magic in my own hovel. So I started asking for the panini press about Valentine's Day, after I had tried out the one my friends Bonnie and Phil own.



I researched the best deal. I emailed Krang all the information, and he went on Amazon and ordered it using my account and credit card number. Which was invalid. So I went back on Amazon and gave them a new credit card number. "My" order shipped, and a big box addressed to me arrived the very next day. I will wait until Sunday to see what kind of show the boys make, but I'll tell you this: it will be my most meaningful Mother's Day since 2003.